Amanpreet Kaur was on cloud nine when she knew her marriage with Gurpreet of UK was fixed.  Her village in Hoshiarpur resounded with the noise and revelry, which is typical of all Punjabi marriages.  The neighbours talked about Amanpreet’s good fortune of netting a rich boy.  Gurpreet was an Engineer and settled in UK and was a citizen of UK.  Amanpreet’s father was a farmer and he sold some of his lands to raise the money and gave his daughter an ostentatious wedding.  He also gave the groom a dowry of 4 lakhs.  Soon it was time for Gurpreet to return to UK as his vacation was drawing to an end. 

It is three years and Amanpreet is still waiting for Gurpreet to come and take her.  In fact she has not heard from him at all, her calls have gone unanswered, her mails have been returned, as addressee had not given any forwarding address. 

Manjit Kaur was married to Gurudas Mann, who was a citizen of Toronto, Canada.  He was given a car and cash to the tune of upto 10 lakhs as dowry.  He lived with Manjit Kaur for a month after the wedding and left for Toronto after promising to send her invite letters and other documents so that she could apply for her visa.   Manjit in the meanwhile found that she was pregnant.

Gurudas used to visit her once every year with promises to take her back with him to Canada, but then nothing happened.  Finally last year he took her signature in some documents and took their son along with him saying that Manjit would join them very soon.  But unfortunately he had taken her signature in divorce papers.  Now Manjit is languishing in her poor parents’ house in Jalandhar without her husband, without a son whom she was so fond of.

Jaspreet was married to Umandeep of US.  Umandeep was a Doctor and was a green card holder and lived in the US for many years.  He got married to Jaspreet when he had come to India one December.  His parents were from Bhatinda and they had found a good match in Jaspreet.  But along with Jaspreet they also asked for a flat, a scooter and a decent wedding.

After the wedding Umandeep left for the US and Jaspreet stayed with her in-laws at Bhatinda and was harassed from day one to bring cash from her parents.  Jaspreet put up with all the harassment, as she could not bring herself to tell them.  Her father was only a clerk at a Nationalized Bank and there was no way they could cough up any more money as they had given all their savings to their daughter and son-in-law.  There was no sign of Umandeep taking Jaspreet with him to the US and finally she signed up some divorce papers and the last she heard was that he was married to another girl from the same village. 

I’m sure you must have all heard about holiday marriages. These marriages are solemnized post haste in Punjab for sons-in-law from the lands of butter, milk and cream are difficult to find.  Most of the people who get their daughters married to these men from these countries are farmers or ordinary people who have toiled all their lives to see their children well settled. 

They believe that once their daughter wends her way to UK, US or Canada or any country they and their families can follow suit.  Unfortunately 90% of these marriages never see the light of the day after a month, and most of the times the only thing that the boys and their families want is the dowry that these girls bring along with them and then they try and squeeze all that they can from the girls’ side and once they know that they have reached the end of the tether then they take a divorce.  Most of the times even children and babies are involved and sometimes children are forcibly taken by the husband. 

Since these women come from villages, they are usually timid, illiterate or maybe just a tenth pass.  Incase these women do manage to go to their husband’s country they find that their passports, other documents and jewellery are usually confiscated by their husbands' and they lead a life of an unpaid servant.  They are abused and battered.  Sometimes they find that there is another woman involved or married to their husbands.

 
It would be good if the girls’ families can do some basic check on these boys before the wedding.  It is important for these women to have copies of their passports, take a driver’s license as it will give them an id proof and a residence proof.  It would be good to learn about the laws of the land that they are living in.  It would also be a good idea to know about organizations that work for abused and battered women.  And last but not the least it is important that these women  confide in someone in case there is something amiss, in their marriage.